How many times have we as parents questioned ourselves and said “Where did I go wrong?” This usually follows some episode of bad behaviour by our offspring. It may be an episode of binge drinking, taking drugs or fighting in the school yard, whatever it is we usually wonder where we went wrong!
On the other hand when our children do great things we never say “I must have done a great job, look at how well my children have turned out!” No we usually give the credit to the child/young adult themselves.
In fact the young person themselves often blame the parents for whatever is wrong in their lives, but again if all is well then it’s down to their hard work and ability!
We as parents are influential in our children’s lives but we’re not actually that powerful that we can take complete (credit or otherwise!) for the way our children turn out. There are many more influences in their lives. Apart from their parents, children are influenced by their grandparents, aunts, uncles, brothers, sisters, cousins, friends, friends parents, teachers to name but a few! They are also influenced by their place in the family and the personality that they are actually born with.
So next time you hear yourself go “where did I go wrong?” take stock, you’re just not that powerful! And if things are going wrong for your kids then look forward not back and see if there’s anything you can do to change the situation for them now and for their future.