Inside I’m 14!


Having finally discovered that one of my DD’s  had asperger syndrome a lot of things suddenly fell into place. Being a very volatile person all her life it had been very difficult to recognize what was a disorder and what was simply down to personality, and I found myself regularly saying “She’ll grow out of it” but one day I realized that ‘No actually she won’t grow out of it! If it was something that could be grown out of she would have already grown out of it’ that was when I decided that we weren’t going to wait any longer, we needed answers, and we got them.  A relief to all of us to know the ‘why’ and now the hard job of the ‘how’ Some of the ‘how’ is ok, such as the frustration tantrums, short term medication and an understanding both from other people and self understanding has helped calm everything down. Self help organizational books have helped somewhat with the organizational and short term memory difficulties.  But what about the maturity bit?  Is she to remain forever 14 inside? While this childlike innocence is wonderful and a great asset at times, but there are times when being 14 inside is a difficulty, especially if you are chronologically an adult living in the adult world and you need to work to earn a living but you’d much rather stay at home and paint or draw! Or when the house is falling down around you and you haven’t noticed because you’re engrossed in a craft project!  These can be difficulties.

I recently read a book called “Aspergirls” by Rudy Simone, and it gave great insight into the world of women with Asperger Syndrome. Well worth reading if you have a daughter on the spectrum or if you suspect that she might be on the spectrum.  One of the best bits of advice I took from the book is if you are on the spectrum or you have a daughter on the spectrum it’s unlikely that you’ll make a living in a conventional way, look for college courses and careers that feed your passion.  If you love playing computer games, try and get a job in that area, if your passion is craft work try and make your money selling your produce.  Work with your talents, don’t deny them.  Let that inner child free, but of course make sure you let her free at appropriate times and in appropriate places.  Not a good idea to skip and twirl around the supermarket when doing your weekly shop!